Impressions on Tuesday, February 7, 2012
5:30 am
Feet flying out from under me in the shower
My death hold on two grab bars , one behind me 1 on the side
Landing in a posed position like an amply endowed, aged artist's model, Rubenesque, breast, flank, belly exposed, genitalia obscured because I was sitting on it
Sitting in that cramped position forever awaiting paramedics-and longer while it was determined how to remove the shower doors and then the bathroom door
7 people in that tiny room trying to remove me from the shower enclosure
The delicious rush of fresh cold air on my cold, sweaty head and shoulders when we exited the Manor in the dark morning
The profoundly deep unrelenting ache in my right shoulder
The sound of sirens and the flashing red lights in the darkness, all because of me
Arriving at the hospital to a sea of greeting faces, one of whom announced, "I'm Ruth"
A man saying"Could you scoot over on to that table?" my answer,
"Could you pull your lower lip up over your head?"
And only Ruth laughed.
A procession of people asking one-answer questions after I'd bothered to learn their names
The x-ray guys one of whom was named Allen, spelled the right way, the way our family does it
The nice and gentle ER woman doctor on duty
At last after hours of unrelenting pain, Morphine for repositioning my shoulder in its socket.
11:50 p.m. February 9, 2012
Deja vu.........I awakened, stretched luxuriously, popped my shoulder out of position again and repeated the five hours I went through last Tuesday
I've been in the respite room since Tuesday, with no access to internet.
Did you miss me? I've missed all of you.
Oh dear Jane...you have such a way of relaying such a horrible incident. I was laughing out loud. So sorry and yes you were most definitely missed. I hope you are healing quickly. Love, Timi
ReplyDeleteMy Bob loved this as well ....T
ReplyDeleteI always worry about you when you don't post and this time it was for good (no...bad) reasons. I'm so sorry to hear about your fall and all the ragamaroll that went with it. And here I thought that as long as I planned on putting in grab bars in the shower WLT and I would be safe and sound. Then to read on and see all the other things to think of such as the size of shower doors and bathroom doors. I guess the remodel will just have to wait until my fear of these castoraphes catches up to my fear of change. AND THEN ... to keep reading and find out you had to endure the entire process all over again!!! I'm a little pissed off at your guardian angel!!! T.O.Joanne
ReplyDeleteGood Grief Jane. What a terrible thing to happen to you. I am so sorry and hope you are mending. And yes, we all have missed you.
ReplyDeleteCarol
You had me laughing....then I felt guilty for laughing since you were in such pain...you are so talented to make a bad situation into a good story....thank heavens for Morphine...
ReplyDeleteSo glad you are back online...missed you and what you chat about...rusti
Dearest Jane, in total solidarity, I also spent Tuesday in a hospital but it doesn't compare to your ordeal! So glad you are back on the blog and filling us in. Your bold and colorful details made it all very graphic.
ReplyDeleteRelieved to have you back and hoping the worst is behind you!
Sending much love, Lisa
Shit happens, Babe1 Stay strong. Love yah A Non Y Mouse
ReplyDeleteDear Jane: God, yes I missed you.
ReplyDeleteMarlene
Well i first must say that it would seem delightful to be in a room, undressed with a possible 7 men, but really??? Yikes. Not exactly in a way any of us would want....but i can hear someone say...thank heavens for a few more rolls to possibly obscure.. But to boot to have something out of socket!! OMG. I love the comment to pull the lip up an over. Ruth sounds great, but that fellow just does not have a sense of humor. No matter...... of course you were missed. Now we pray that 2 was the charm! Maybe no showers and no stretching!!
ReplyDeleteOh no. I did wonder where you were last week, but I just figured you felt like a non-writing few days. I hope the pain is subsiding and that it doesn't happen again.
ReplyDeletexox♥
Val
You were definitely missed. I'm happy to learn that the absence was caused by a "repairable" injury and not anything more serious. Life really is one damned thing after another. Take care. XO
ReplyDeleteWhere are the pictures in the shower?
ReplyDelete#409
OMG!!! I missed you and wondered why you were absent. Happy you're back! I would try to be funny and ask if you fell just to get a good post but that would be tacky...and probably not even funny. XOXO Shelley
ReplyDeleteOf course I missed you - and am so sorry you had to go through all that ! And still you make me smile - look after yourselves, you're international treasures !
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOnly you could suffer such a catastrophe and turn it into a work of comic genius.
ReplyDeleteAny plans yet for a follow-up performance?
BTW. Our son's an Allen.
The Dorsettlers.
A riveting piece Jane. Shoulder dislocations may be uncomfortable but they generate great copy.
ReplyDeleteJane.....What writing! Not a wasted word, my eyes popping as I read.
ReplyDeleteBut really, that was my SECOND thought. You were my first.
Love and mend well!
Erika
Gosh, I hope you're feeling better and healing well. Of course you were missed.
ReplyDeleteYour regular reader/lurker
Linda
Reading about your calamitous accident made me gasp and then gasp again. What an indignant, unfair and painful episode. During the whole hospital visit, didn't even one doctor suggest to keep your shoulder in a sling for a day or two, to let it recover without movement?
ReplyDeleteYes, you were missed, but I never thought it was for something like this. Thank goodness
you are still intact, although severely ruffled. Breath easy and move mindfully, when possible.
Love, Robin
Oh my goodness Oh my goodness.....YES you were missed! I wondered where you were. I am so sorry this happened to you but I must admit the way you tell the story I could not help but laugh. You are truly the BEST. Take care and feel better soon! Susan/OUAT/Burbank
ReplyDeleteJane - oh dear - what an ordeal. Hope your pain fades soon and you recover as quickly as possible. We definitely missed you!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely missed your posts while you were otherwise occupied. I hope you're feeling comfortable once again. What a way to start the day...and end it. Thank goodness for all of those folks who are ready to make a rescue. Be safe.
ReplyDeleteI heard about this just now from Margaret. It was sort of in the context of, "flying all the way down here for a visit and getting bronchitis is *nothing*... wait until you read your Aunt Janie's blog!".
ReplyDeleteWhat I loved most about this story was the part where you noticed and commented that Allen's name was spelled correctly. What a mind.
And Uncle Bob witnessed all of this? And had the good sense *not* to snap those shower photos? Well done...
Love to you both,
Pam
I HAVE missed you, and I'm so sorry for the pain you have been through! I have fallen in the shower, too, but all I did was break a finger which made it impossible for me to wear my wedding ring anymore (much to my husband's chagrin!). Oh well, we both know we're married, and any man looking at my gnarled ring finger would be repulsed anyway. Hope you feel better soon, and watch out for those stretches!
ReplyDeleteOh, Jane! I'm so sorry!!!!
ReplyDelete~MJ
OH JANE
ReplyDeleteOMG, Jane!! I am so sorry! We had not one, but two deaths in our family, and I've been absent from much online, so I missed this. Today, I was thinking about you, and realized I hadn't seen a post from you so I came to see what I'd missed. So so sorry! I hope you are feeling much better very soon. YES--we miss you! Rest up...xo
ReplyDeleteJust back to check on you and Mr. Bob to see how you both are feeling.....
ReplyDeleteSending all of my love and prayers that I've got in me.....
Love and God Bless you both...
Lisa
thinking of you and yours ♥♥
ReplyDeletewe miss you
ReplyDeletedenise f in c'ville
I'm not sure if there are more recent blog posts that I am missing or not.....
ReplyDeleteWhen I click on, I now get this:
Flickr Error: Invalid API Key (Key has expired)