FROM SUSAN

That's my Susan, in the red and black blouse.

That's her son, Justin, in the white shirt.

Susan sent a piece today that she had written about a recent experience. I'm feeling the desire to share it with you. Here goes:

Quick Trip to the Zoo

Jill, my best friend for more than twenty years, is practically a second mom to my two children, now 27 and 31. Last week she gave my son Justin and me personalized annual passes to the Anchorage Zoo. She had taken her visiting niece there a month prior and thought it would be a great activity for Justin and me to participate in together for an entire year. My family is very fortunate that Jill is so gracious and has afforded us opportunities we otherwise would not have. We are grateful.

The last time I was at the zoo was probably twelve years ago. Justin was much younger, his wheelchair much smaller and he, himself, was about 100 pounds lighter. Back then the gravel paths were challenging but manageable. Of course I was much younger then.

When we arrived my heart sank a little seeing how much deeper the gravel is now, but darn it, we were going to have fun! We showed our passes and begin down the gravel path to the learning center area where we had decided to attend, ‘All About Reptiles’. 

The path began as a slight decline; I gathered momentum and velocity, Justin doing his best to assist. Then the path became an incline. So as not to lose the slow speed I had achieved, I didn’t want to stop at the exhibits as we passed on the way to our destination. “Quick! look, Justin, on your right, Snowy Owl, like in Harry Potter. There on your left, Golden Eagle, related to the Bald Eagle. On your right, porcupines, live ones not like the ones we see on the side of the road.” My voice now breathy. “Alpacas, sweaters, sock and scarves.” “Ahead of us Musk Ox”, Justin states, 'I’ve been to the Musk Ox farm', “Good, because we are not stopping”.

We reached the top of the incline and stopped to readjust my undergarments, catch my breath. Next to us was the Black Yak enclosure. We could see three Yaks, one had his head through the railing and stood motionless, staring straight ahead, not blinking. Justin said, “He looks sad”, I agreed. My heart rate close to normal, again breathing evenly, we continued just a few yards to the oasis of the grassy learning area, a welcome sight.

Folding chairs were already aligned in rows. Justin sat in his wheelchair at the end of the second row and I sat to his left. Because we were early we got to see the zoo keepers set up the exhibit. Within the metal playpens they put a variety of turtles. There were a couple of totes that remained unopened.

   At 7pm, the rows were now filled with families with children, visiting grandparents, tourists. The Instructor introduced herself, explaining the many years of impressive training and degrees she had acquired in her years of schooling. She explained that the evening’s lecture was “All About Reptiles”. Did anyone have any questions to start with?  Justin’s hand shot up, my stomach flinched, “The Yak seems depressed”. The instructor replied, “Probably because he is getting castrated tomorrow”. Justin: “What does that mean?” the crowd was quiet. The instructor looked to me as if I was going to whisper the answer to him. I didn’t and waited for her highly degreed answer. “That means he won’t be able to reproduce and create more Yaks.” Justin was satisfied with her answer. I did turn and whisper, “His testicles are being removed” Justin’s eyes got big but he didn’t say anything. We listened to the lecture and learned what was in the tote, a ball snake that the instructor wrapped around her neck. She explained that box turtles, geckos, lizards and other reptiles don't make especially good pets. The audience was told that after the lecture folks were welcome to touch the turtles and ball snake, although they do carry diseases such as salmonella. Hand sanitizer was available.

We headed back to the parking area, much easier going downhill. We are both good sports and laughed about our, ‘speed dating’ zoo experience. Justin sat on a bench as I dismantled his wheelchair to fit in my small car.  Once home he entered his house, bathroom bound, his housemate and staff in the living room. As he passed by them they asked, “How was the trip to the zoo?” As he hurried by them on his mission he said, “Good. The Yak is getting incarcerated tomorrow”.

 

Such is life with Justin, every outing an adventure…………………….

MEMORIAL MEMORIES

In sorting through the stacks of cards that have arrived over the past six months........get well cards, birthday cards, thinking-of-you cards and messages of condolence, there was a letter from Lisa (pictured above) that I thought summed up Mr. Bob's memorial service better than anything I could write and I'd like to share it with you here.

                         ††††††††††††††††††††††

Dear Jane,

Words are not easy to find.

I didn't want to write until after Bob's memorial. I was sure I would learn a great deal from the Humphrey approach to a major Life event......always with inspiration, imagination, creativity and heart. I knew I would be touched. I knew I would find many valuable lessons. I did not know it would transcend any memorial I've ever attended. It was absolutely perfect from the warm greetings, to the beautiful photographs, to the heartfelt words, to the cloud of pure love emanating from the room. Your family was absolutely beautiful, each and every one. They did their father and their grandfather and their mother proud.

Tim's solo, joined by the jazz band was one of the most beautiful sounds I've ever heard. It expressed what could never be said with words. And, to end with "When the Saints Go Marching In" and the proud parade of the jazz umbrella.......was to know, without doubt, that a saint went marching in.

I found myself celebrating how loudly Bob lived.....in a very quiet way. I learned so much in his presence. People who live out loud never seem to have the same powerful effect of men like Bob who have no need to brag and boast. Actions define them. I was enheartened by those observations. I watched a real man love his life, his family, his wife, and his friends while saying very few words.

One of my indelible memories will always be the example you both set as husband and wife. It is unparalleled and will always guide me.......perfect in any imperfections, sweeter than any relationship I have ever observed. I have watched you and Bob live it consistently. You were incredible teachers.

The other words that will linger was the compliment that will always define you and Bob........that you changed the Manor. Your presence, your energy, your creativity, your warmth, your service ....gave it new heart, new soul. How beautifully the words were shared and how much it compliments you and Bob. That is a legacy!  That is something to strive for.......and you accomplished that by the sincere act of being yourselves!


Again, I am enheartened.
                                                                All my love,
                                                                              Lisa

Tim spoke of the music that his dad had appreciated.

Tim had taken a few clarinet lessons ten years ago, soon giving it up.
His playing at the memorial came as a complete surprise.

The Golden Eagle Jazz Band marched in after Tim played the opening bars.

Mr. Bob would have loved the music, but he'd never in the world have believed his memorial would draw such a crowd.

My words were few. I said that I had indeed married well and that Mr. Bob would be sorely missed.

Owen and his cousin, Ethan, were models of decorum
during the memorial.

Jeanine had spoken earlier of Mr. Bob winning the
jazz umbrella. He made a gift of it to her and we
were surprised that she brought it to the event and
marched to "When the Saints Go Marching In".

The Manor kitchen prepared a feast of delectable food.

Mr. Bob loved mariachi music, and so did the guests.

Here is Susan and her beautiful daughter and two sons. It was a blessing we
could all be together.

Memorial: A farewell party for someone who already left.z

WHEW!

LET'S JUST SAY it wasn't a whole lot of fun, this past phantasmagorical experience of mine. But you all played a large part in helping me get through it and so did our three remarkable offspring. Susan has a huge amount of past nursing experience because Justin has had so many surgeries; Chris, even with his finely tuned sense of humor, is the most serious of the group and his logic is to be listened to. Tim has been close-by and understands the lay of the land and arrived at my bedside the first day with a slender vase holding 2 gerbera flowers and a little box of truffles (which might not have been endorsed, but what a healing thought!)  All of them make me laugh........the best medicine, after all.




Susan was appropriately attired in her "Fight like a girl" shirt complete with the pink ribbon logo. In the past we've not been in the habit of being a highly demonstrative family, but kisses and hugs abounded the past few days, a highly moving experience for a mama.


We kept Mr. Bob away from the hospital and possible germs. While I was in the hospital, he was busy receiving his final chemotherapy treatments. 

Irene, who asked for my
blog address.

Evy, on the
night shift

In my two days there, I had a sort of slideshow of impressions of things that transpired. The staff changed with regularity, rarely with any one member working two days running. Lots of names to learn.

Out of the blue, a customer from long ago appeared with her dog who visits hospital patients. She used to be a guide dog trainer and one summer her son and a dog came to do storytime weekly at our bookshop. So much for "no visitors".

One night I was persuaded to don my robe and shuffle down the hall to a little balcony for a breath of fresh air. I'm swallowing a fair amount of pride to post this picture but it's not nearly as bad as this one:

I hope that lump on my backside is the drain. Doc Martin and I share the condition of hemophobia and catching sight of the drain or the tubing is more than I can tolerate. Hopefully it can be removed (help!) next Monday.

Upon arriving home yesterday, Chris captured an unflattering  shot of his sister and she was brave enough to sanction my posting it. We whisked our way through the halls and up in the elevator, seeing barely a soul........entered the apartment and the first thing I caught sight of was a bunch of tulips.........

tulips from our never-seen friend in Pennsylvania........... thank you, Val!

"We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world."      

                                        Helen Keller

THE IRONY OF IT ALL

WHILE MR. BOB was in surgery, having a port (for the administration of chemotherapy) implanted in his chest,
Susan and I sat in the waiting room, doing just that..........waiting............ and in the process, discovered that the local paper of that very same day featured the Windsor ad showing us dancing away our cares.

Hardly the case, given the circumstances of the day, but amusing in a way.

“A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself”

Jessamyn West

HEALING WISHES

THE OUTPOURING of good wishes for Mr. Bob's recovery has been amazing. I take him verbal expressions from the residents and staff every time I visit and carry to him any cards which have been slipped under our door. You've been privy to the heartfelt comments left on our blog entries. One envelope came in the mail from a friend/blog follower and look how well she understood the name change to our living quarters........now that we're the be.group.......her envelope bore several "be" messages. Headquarters would be pleased that an outsider understands the change so well.

Cards and phone calls have poured in and today Mr. Bob emailed me a picture of flowers that had arrived. From whom? Sent by Val, a lovely lady we've never met in person, but a follower of not only our web log, but also our flickr photostream. It's a little mind boggling, to say the least, to get flowers from a friend in Pennsylvania ....someone we've yet to meet. Mr. Bob thanks you, Val. What a sweet surprise!

The family has gathered. Chris and his wife and son had plans to come down long before Mr. Bob was brought to his knees and rushed to the hospital. They had plans to attend the Star Wars concert at the Hollywood Bowl because four-year-old Owen is  currently fixated with the subject. When the tickets were ordered it was with the idea that Mr. Bob would attend, too, but our Susan, flying in from Alaska took his place. She made the executive decision to come down to advocate for us.........she being of a generation which isn't afraid to speak up for adequate service from nurses. I never thought of taking a washcloth to the hospital so the patient could have a nice, warm face wash. The nurses hadn't thought of it within the past week, either. Susan to the rescue!

I'm afraid Humphrey humor tends to be bawdy, and Chris snapped this picture which shows the shortage of seating arrangements in the hospital room. Susan wants me to assure you that the seat is down on the bedside commode. And for the record, Mr. Bob absolutely refuses to have anything to do with it, so I'm glad it's getting some use because the charge for it will appear on our bill.

Even Ms. Susan can't work the miracle of arranging to talk to the doctor so we'll have to wait until next week to find out the results of the biopsies which means another long weekend of confinement. "Thou shall keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee." Amen.

THE ROYAL WEDDING

I'VE DECIDED the reason there's been so much hullabaloo about the Royal wedding is because the rest of the news is so frustratingly bad.  If it's not damaging weather, and there's been far more than enough of it, then it's the unbelievable behavior of politicians. Too much of a muchness, I think all will agree. Our grandson, Justin, lives in an assisted living situation with a roommate and a caretaker. He became extremely interested in the upcoming marriage and invited his mom (our daughter, Susan) to come over to watch the wedding last night. Following is the texting she (black) and I (green) did. From Alaska to Glendale, the words flew back and forth.






9:45 a.m.My friend Starla 
who I iron for owns a tux 
and costume
store  and is loaning Justin 
& me fancy hats to wear while
watching the wedding.

                                                                Wonderful. Wish I could donate scones  and clotted

cream. Be sure to take pictures.

Scones are a good idea I

prefer lemon curd. Are you

staying up to watch?

Oh, my, yes!!!

May we call you at the good parts?

Sure, or text. Either way.

I'll be at Justin's.

Okay, if you take pictures

I could do a blog.

6:16 p.m.Wish I had a 

nicer nightgown

to wear to the wedding.

Just dress it up with jewelry

and a scarf.

That's a thought.

8:27 pm

I'm going to take a nap and

get up later for the festivities.

I've been mowing lawns with

Jill. I'll nap, then go to Justin's.

1:15 a.m.

I have a problem with those

silly little hats that sit on the 

front of the heads.

I like the b4 ones.

Which are those?

Most of them. I like the little

feathery ones.

2:15 a.m. 

Exciting, huh?

Very! OMG!

Designer......Dr. Seuss

Funny. 

But this is history.

Yes! Love her little wave.

I don't understand why everyone

didn't stay up to see this.

They recorded it.

I forget that's a possibility.

I'd rather watch as it happens.

Me, too. But she needs to work

on that royal wave. Beautiful dress!

Breathtaking. I'm teary.

Me, too

Wow! No kiss?

Later from the balcony, I think.

That's what Justin said.

I love the trees.

Me, too.

They won't go on the balcony

until after lunch. A long time

from now. I may go back to

bed soon.

I am going to head home. Loved

watching it with you.

It was fun.

Yes, it was.

G'night.

Gnt.

Next day, all tired out from the wedding festivities:

STORYTIME

You may have tangible wealth untold;

Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.

Richer than I you can never be --

I had a mother who read to me.

-- Strickland Gillilan (1869-1954)

P.S. In this case, it's a grandmother reading to our great grandchild.

ALASKA NEWS

Just in from Alaska, Susan wrote:

"Yesterday's weather could not have been more perfect! I took alot of pictures and attached are a few. 

I love this picture.  This was taken at Crystal Lake, the cabin we go visit mostly in the summer.  It is along the Iditarod race route and we were there yesterday to cheer the teams on to the destination, Nome Alaska.  Jill, Starla and I got to ride behind a snow machine on the couch. Fun."   

Seated: Jill on the left, Susan on the right.

"Our friend Starla wearing the fox tail that fell off of Jim Nelson's fur hat.  Too funny." 

I've heard people complain about the race being cruel to the dogs but then I've read in more than one place that the dogs are born to run and love the races. I think I believe the latter. 


Unless you're in a tearing rush, I highly recommend reading (it's interesting and won't take but a few minutes) author Gary Paulsen's Iditarod Journal.
Reading it, I learned this


"The Inuit call the northern lights the souls of children waiting to be born which is a wonderful way to look at them."


And on that lovely note, I'll say goodbye for today.

DROP A PEBBLE

Tradition dictates that residents put a decoration on their doors. We did so for the first year and then my enthusiasm for the practice waned. We've had this little person looking through a window at the snow coming down since the first of January. As long as the rest of the country is experiencing snow, I think we'll leave it there.

Last year we put a large red heart on the door in recognition of Valentine's Day. I suspect it was meant to be used as a placemat by the buyer at Pier 1. This year we needed it to decorate the library, along with selected red books to make a statement, so it didn't grace our apartment door in the hallway.

I love the whole idea of a pebble dropped into water and the resulting concentric circles that radiate out......today a letter arrived from our daughter, Susan, in Alaska. It read:

Dear Mom,
      Every first Saturday of the month I volunteer my time in the 
Al-Anon bookstore, a very small space in an older building. I am sitting here thinking of all the decorating and fixing up I could do.........like your winter and Chinese New Year decor in the Windsor Manor library. I doubt that it would be well received. Maybe I'll bring four leaf clover decorations and put them up when I'm here the first Saturday in March. It will be fun. We will see!
Love,
Susan

My response to her is, "Go for it, Susan! You won't know until you give it a try." Meanwhile the wee child will continue to watch it snow through the window on our door, until we scare up something to decorate it for St. Patrick's Day in March.

BABIES

Where did you come from, baby dear?

Out of the Everywhere and into here.

~George MacDonald, 

"At the Back of the North Wind"

Mr. Bob and I are great-grandparents with little chance of ever seeing our granddaughter, Asher. For one thing, she resides in Alaska and for another, the mother and father are estranged and although our grandson, Ryan, is trying to gain custody, it seems  that the courts usually favor the child being with the mother. For most of her first year, pictures were coming through and we had to be content to marvel and ooh and aah from afar.

Have you noticed how events seem to come in clusters? All of a sudden we get a rash of wedding announcements or more somber, we have a lot of funerals and memorials to attend in quick succession. It seems to be that way currently with babies in our world. Two of the servers in the dining room at the Manor took maternity leave and I've met one of the little ones. Wyatt came to visit and his Mama asked, "Would you like to hold him?" 

Well, yes, indeed I would. What a pleasure it is to hold a baby close, feeling the heft and warmth of a new little being and marveling at what lies ahead......all the opportunities and discoveries and wonders to come. What a privilege it was the day he came to visit.

Isabel came to see the residents one day, also. There's no question but that people our age revel in being around new life. Our own babies were born with no hair whatsoever, so it's a treat to see babies who only have to work on growing teeth, never mind getting hair to emerge.

Remember a while back when I posted this photo of new grandparents? We were lucky enough to meet young William James last Friday. He slept right through our meeting, reminding me that somewhere long ago I read the statement that there was never a child so wonderful that his mother wasn't happy to see him asleep. Here is little William, another miracle of the Universe:

"A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on."  ~Carl Sandburg