Friday, March 23, 2012

FAMILY

Susan H writes: Dear friends, family and blog followers.........The words for this entry do not flow as others have. There is no sugar coating the current situation. So rather than ease into the update, I am going to tell it like taking off an adhesive bandage, quick and painful as opposed to slow and even more painful.


Mr. Bob is receiving Hospice care. Results from his recent CT scan showed that the lung cancer, an aggressive form of cancer, has spread to his liver. We called VNA Hospice services Thursday and they arrived Thursday afternoon. Incredible. Mr. Bob was able to move to the same Skilled Nursing room as Jane and they are now roommates. He is at peace with the what will take place in the coming weeks. Jane still recovering, seems to understand, she has good days and not so good days. They are together now, beds next to each other, their recliner chair in between.         
                        

Tonight we sat together in their room, Jane in twilight sleep, as we listened to Mr. Bob tell stories of his childhood. Stories we had not heard before. 


My mother has made our family shine in the posts she has written, in her eyes I suppose we do shine. I do think sometimes she wrote what she wanted her family to be rather that what really was. But tonight it felt like we became that family. 

47 comments:

  1. I'm praying for ALL of you!!
    If there is anything I can do, please let me know.
    Give Aunt Jane and Uncle Bob a hug for me and tell them they are in my thoughts n prayers.
    Love You all,
    Brent

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  2. Yes.
    Love, Sandy

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  3. Oh. My heart is breaking with sorrow and the happiness of love discovered all at the same time. Namaste. Love you Jane and Bob...

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  4. This post is heartbreakingly beautiful, Susan.

    Your words could not be more thoughtfully, lovingly, boldly written.

    The overwhelming sadness I'm feeling is a tribute to each of you.

    In your honor, Charlotte would weave into her web: SOME FAMILY

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  5. I am here, sitting with you there....

    Lynne L

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  6. Oh my.....Oh my.. I too have tears rolling down my cheeks as i read this. I like all the others local would love to visit if at all possible. Again Susan, you have opened your families life to all of us who love both your parents as the wonderful people they are. A Dad who loves his wife in a way so many other wives could only wish. It is good to hear they are together and i really hope those stories you are hearing are being written down...Love is what i hear from you. And love is what you get from me and all the readers on this blog...

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  7. Thank you, all of you, for your transparency and honesty.
    God has blessed you in so many ways.... and now your responses
    and reactions to the various events of life are an inspiration
    to us. Thank you ..... You are my heroes .....

    XUPS

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  8. This will change your lives...in more than the obvious way.

    Be sure Mr. Bob has all the pain relief available to him (as he chooses of course) - it's one of the things 'the system' failed my dad on...

    Say all the things you think...don't hold back, have no regrets, say you're sorry, say I love you, say thank you...hold his hand.

    Be strong enough to let your daddy go, one of the hardest thing you will do - but revel in the fact that he taught you well and will live on in each of you...I'm sorry, I can truly say this, from deep inside, I'm sorry for you and your family.

    Embrace hospice, they (in our experience) are an utter godsend in helping you stay grounded through this. They provided honest, caring help to our family, they walked my mom, brother & I through a mid-night meltdown..even though a brief moment in time, they honestly cared about my dad, about our family, just as they will yours.

    Please only take any of what I'm saying with honesty and not as a front - I was lucky enough to have had someone right before me experience this same thing and she was able to help me with some of the same pointers. I listened to her, and boy am I glad I heard her...I only wish to pass it along.

    Holding you all in my thoughts and heart, wishing you peace and ease through this part of life

    Rest easy Mr. Bob, so glad that you, Jane & your children are together, it's the only way it should be.

    Can you check in on my dad for me...save us a seat okay.

    Humbly,
    ~Ember

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  9. So glad Jane and Bob are together - thinking of you all,
    Suzan

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  10. Thank you, Susan. You are the beautiful family your mother wrote about. My heart goes out to all of you<3.

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  11. As everyone has already said, thinking of you all.
    L,
    Mary Jo

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  12. Susan, I feel as if I were a part of your family. I am thinking of you too.

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  13. Your pictures and writing have enlightened and touched me.

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  14. Chris,Susan and Tim your Mother sent me this quote three years ago and it has stayed with me and been of some help. In fact it is on the wall in big letters above my desk.
    LIFE isn't about waiting for the storm
    to pass... It's learning to
    Dance in the Rain
    If you need help with the steps I am here for you.
    Susie H

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  15. We will always hold all of you in our hearts.
    Susie and Bill

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  16. These posts say what we all feel in our hearts. You, Chris, and Tim have been blessed with wonderful, loving parents and you are the lucky ones. I was fortunate to have seen them both three weeks ago and they had the same sense of humor as always. Hospice will certainly take care of them, along with God's hand.

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  17. Thank you for telling me in the elevator and for this post. I really love your father, the twinkle in his eye, the sly smile and sense of humor. I'm so glad they are together, hard as it may be- apart would be worse. If we can just get Jane well we'll be so good to her and surround her with love. Thank you all for being here and sharing your family with our family.

    Love, neighbor in #409.

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  18. Thats really sad news,our thoughts and Prayers, are with You all,
    Your Friends,
    Sheila and Harvey, (from across the Pond)

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  19. Susan - Thank you for your writings. You, Chris and Tim have such a connection with my family as Mr. Bob and Jane do too. I can hear Mr. Bob's chuckle now, along with his twinkling eyes, as I fondly recall calling him to help us open the famously finicky cash register when it stuck in our first week of ownership of OUAT.
    Peace, grace and love to your entire family as these coming days ahead will be hard.
    -Maureen

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  20. Love and prayers on behalf of The Birds.
    AnnE

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  21. ...and, Susan, your mother told us the truth about her beloved family....
    xoxo

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  22. We appreciate your beautiful update on Bob and Jane. We are holding you all in our thoughts and prayers. This is a sad time for everyone. Your love and support for each other is a blessing for Jane and Bob. Please let them know we love them. We have had many wonderful times together. Gloria and George

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  23. All of you...Chris, Tim and Susan have made both of your parents so very proud and I know you feel the same about them. I am so greatful to you for continuing your mother's blog so that all of us can still be a part of the lives of a VERY special couple. I met your parents through their friends Mick and Nadine at the Manor and treasure the time we have spent together. My prayers are with all of you and I think of the wonderful times you have shared and am so thankful for a place like the Manor where your parents can be together with you. T.O. Joanne

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  24. I have no words to express my feelings at this moment . Stay strong. Know that you are all loved.
    A Non Y Mouse LaVona

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  25. Thank-you for posting this news, Susan. Jane and Mr. Bob have been in my thoughts for many years and I often think of the words and thoughts from Jane's blog. How lucky you all are to be together and live in each other's love. It is a great gift to talk honestly with those you hold most dear and I send you all my love. Robin

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  26. I have no words right now...but I will be back.

    God Bless you all.
    Love,
    Lisa

    PS...You have been given this wonderful gift, as we were with both parents. We were given the gift of "time"...ask questions, share your stories, listen to his...but you're already doing that.

    Ember said it all...and yes, your Mother was to the point and honest in characterizing her family. We are so blessed to know you all..love you all...through Jane.

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  27. Susan and beautiful Humphrey family ~ you are in my heart. With all my love and all my prayers.
    Please call if you want to talk.
    I love you!
    Jilly

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  28. You don't know me. And in some sense I guess you could say I don't really know your parents. But we met on Flickr. I was instantly attracted to your mother and father's sense of humor and the way they embraced technology in their senior years. I admired their sense of adventure and their obvious love for each other. I don't know all that went on but I am so sorry to hear of their current set of circumstances that await us all and I wish them a peaceful journey as they pass and you comfort as they go.

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  29. I am so sad to hear of this latest development with Jane and Mr Bob. It's something we all must face, but very difficult for those left. It is fortunate that they can be together now. I can see Jane's writing ability has been passed down to the next generation for sure-- such heartfelt pictures and words. Thank you so much for being there for them when you are sorely needed and yet being able to pass this difficult time on for us to share with you. My prayers and thoughts are with all of you. Keep those strong family ties going always.

    lovingly, edie

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  30. I have read this post four times now and just can't believe it. This all seems to have happened so quickly. I have come to love your whole family so much, I have cried and laughed the past few years over so many of Jane's stories here. And crying now, I send you all so much love. I pray the days and weeks ahead find you all saying more of what needs to be said and healing what needs to be healed. You all are gifts to each other, and your family continues to be a gift to us, as well.

    Love and Prayers,

    Val

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  31. I just came back to say......I LOVE YOU ALL......

    Take turns, enjoy stories, rest when you can.....and don't forget to love each other.

    God Bless and THANKS for letting us all be "adopted" Humphrey sisters and brothers.

    Lisa

    PS...Don't forget to give Mom and Dad a very gentle hug from me.

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  32. love knows no bounds ... not your love for each other through good and bad, known and unknown.

    thanks, still, for sharing and bringing us along on the journey of the Humphrey family

    and may peace shine on each of you
    xoxox
    denise f in c'ville, va

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  33. Thank you, Susan, for sharing this and for saying it straight. I'm so sorry. Have said many prayers for Jane and Bob and thought of them often. It's surprising yet gratifying that you get to hear untold stories from Mr. Bob's youth. Such a gift at this time! My papa died 9 months ago, at age 94, and I treasure all the stories he shared. I hope Bob and Jane receive some comfort in being together. Sending love to all of you.

    Jeannie

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  34. Thank you, Susan. Your family has become part of my life, and has changed it forever.
    Jane's writings, her beautiful watercolors, for which she never could accept a heartfelt
    compliment, somehow truly not believing her own genius....her sensitive but straight
    descriptions of what she saw and felt. Her sharp eye, her humor, and Bob's, along with
    his very kind and caring nature. I'm almost complete inadequate with my words right now.
    I am so deeply moved, and so sorry.
    We WILL take care of Jane, Susan, and we will hope that she cares to paint and write again.
    Erika

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  35. Saddness invades me as it has everyone who has loved Jane and Bob...whether in person or through "Musings". They are a remarkable couple...the Love the have for each other has been obvious and is beautiful as well as their Love for the three of you. We all will remember your Dad's "twinkle" and what a way to be remembered....And Jane is such a deep well of wisdom she has taught so many friends and strangers so much.
    I love her outlook and perspective on life....and try to remember it as I go along life's pathways. It is too bad that children do not appreciate their parents while they are living at home, but few do and parents always understand that....at least I know Jane and Bob did and are so proud of all of you and the adults you have grown into and the lives you have carved out for yourselves. I can't express how much they will be missed, but am so grateful and honored that I knew them off and on for nearly 50 years. I can't thank you enough for sharing this difficult time with us all....Please know you all are in my thoghts and prayers.
    Rusti Van Rooy

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  36. I went to bed last night and I had so much of everything that is going on just rolling through my mind. I finally dozed off to sleep and all night long had the most wonderful dreams of your Mother's stories she'd shared, along with sights ( through pictures ) that she'd also shared with us.

    Most, I must say were of your Dad and Owen. Don't forget I only came into their life through flickr back in 2006 or 2007. My own Mother and Dad were gone and through your parents...I sort of felt such joy again in simply watching their love.

    I remember waking once. I was chuckling as I awakened towards early morning. My awakening thoughts were at how many different positions and places your Dad can manage to fall asleep...and how sometimes he loved to try to catch your Mother asleep to snap her picture as payback and then post it so we could see. They both always were getting into mischief and we sure loved it.

    As I sat on the edge of the bed....I was so relieved because I thought this was all just a bad dream about what is now going on with your parents.

    My smile and slight chuckle soon turned to the cold harsh reality....and I could not go back to sleep.

    For you see....through all of the wonderful stories and photographs that your Mother and Father have shared with us...they've managed to give us such a gift. Such a story of a wonderful family...with lovely friends. We've gone to the grocery store with them to pick up a special item..or maybe just gone to "search" for a special plant or pot to put it in. Your Dad usually pushing a grocery cart...while your Mother photographed. Her flickr name of CJANEBUY ( See Jane Buy ) was so comical..but true. What great taste in decorating...the little snippets she'd show us of things so loved she'd just purchased...what fun.

    We've been out to dinner with them SO MANY times and even could almost smell the wonderful food through your Mother's delightful "food photography" of the dinners out. The laughter on their faces as they shared good times around the table with friends...the photos tell the whole story.

    We've shared holidays, Frances' pregnancy, welcoming Owen into the world, visits from Alaska, leaving a house that was your "home" to move to the Manor...with us struggling watching it happen, the love for beautiful Tulip.. as we were taken to Tim's beautiful home for many visits and there are so so many more wonderful stories shared by your parents.

    Oh kids....and yes, I'm your age so I shouldn't call you kids, but that is what Jane would say. I just want to take this time to say... THANK YOU..THANK YOU..THANK YOU...for sharing these wonderful parents with us. Chris, Susan and Tim...your life might not have been perfect...but whoever has a perfect life and how boring would that be ??? Yes, Jane did share so much with us and knew she'd be in trouble for doing so...but I truly think she just had to get it out and share. To us...you WERE the perfect family..because you were real. Nothing held back. Raw emotion and joy.

    You...Chris, Susan and Tim....their loves, their pride and joys. The love your parents have for you...simply PRICELESS !!!! The grandchildren as well.

    I think all of those years ago, Jane and Mr. Bob were just destined to find each other. The writer in Jane just had to document it all......THANK YOU so very much for showing us what "true love" is all about...in the life of Mr. Bob and Jane.

    ONCE UPON A TIME. : )

    God Bless you all.
    Love,
    Lisa
    xoxo

    PS...Many prayers coming your way..I promise. For even in your darkest hour, possibly surrounded by a roomful of people, yet still feeling so alone and scared..ALWAYS remember that God never ever leaves you. HE is there to comfort you and watch over you all. There was a time when I doubted that. Through my own experience, I now know it is SO VERY true.

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  37. Blessings to all of you, though the passaing of a loved one is hard, the stories you all share will sustain you through the coming months. Love, Paul & Chris Nelson

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  38. OMG, how did I miss this?? I am typing thid through tears. What a beautiful post. Having just lost my own dad, I am also reliving his last days through your words, Susan... Your parents have meant so much to so many of us: your mom's tales of family were always touching, but every family has layers of complexity to it. One of my favorite quotes is:
    "Family--that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape; nor, in our innermost hearts, ever quite wish to." (Dodie Smith)

    Please tell your dad that I will always remember the wonderful night when I met him and your mom for dinner in CA.

    You all will be in my thoughts. Thank you for these updates, Susan--your parents are very special to me. xo

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  39. Susan (and Tim and Chris), I've never met your parents in person. But I have "known" your mother for a number of years on Flickr. What a kind and bright light she has been. I am so sorry to hear of her condition and especially of your father's condition. (My 91 year-old mother is currently in hospice care.) Please give your mother my best wishes and know that both of them are in our loving thoughts.

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  40. Thinking of all of you.
    xoxo
    AnnE

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  41. It is a little after 4 in the morning and I can't sleep.

    Please give your parents each a very gentle hug from me and tell them that I love them.

    In return, please feel the hug right back when you hug them. That's from me too to each one of the three of you.

    I can't believe it is almost Owen's birthday already. He was born on my Dad's birthday, which was also April 11. Easter is so close. I'm glad you're all together.

    God Bless and watch over you all.

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  42. Happy Birthday to Owen....I can't believe he is 5 years old today.

    The photographs of the fun times he's had with his grandparents and all of the mischief that he and his Grandfather have found themselves in...still make me smile from ear to ear.

    Photography is such a blessing and so is that little boy. God Bless you all.

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  43. My heart aches for all you've been through, all you are going through, and all that lies ahead. You are all in my thoughts every single day. My heart is with you.
    Karen

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  44. Oh yes... this post has kept both Jane and Bob in my prayers since the 23rd. In that time, two older friends of mine also lost their husbands. God is waiting for all of them.

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