SEE JANE LEARN


There is hope. Hope for continuing the web log. After I groused the other evening about my inability to communicate with the outside world, Tim whose feelings were hurt by my griping, brought me to the computer room at the Manor and I learned the simplicity of continuing on. 


I'm not ready to write an entry today........but wait! I'm going to send you my entry for the next newsletter. There was talk of replacing me as co-editor and that spurred me into action.


Here is what is going in to the August newsletter. Anne Van Trigt's entry has yet to be put in (by the co-editor)

"If our lives are dominated by a search for happiness, then perhaps few activities reveal as much about the dynamics of this quest...........in all its ardour and paradoxes......than our travels. They express, however inarticulately, an understanding of what life might be about outside of the constraints of work and of the struggle for survival. Yet rarely are they considered to present philosophical problems.......dated on advice on where to travel to, but we hear little of why and how we should go, even though the art of travel seems naturally to sustain a number of questions neither so simple nor so trivial, and of what the Greek philosophers beautifully termed eudaionia,  'human flourishing.'

            from  "The Art of Travel" by Alain de Botton

When I hear the word, “August”, I think of vacations which of course is left over from my years of mothering growing chilldren.. August was the month that we locked up our bookshop and pretended to be a normal family of the 1960s when most mothers wore aprons and were readily available all day long.

Some years we ferried to Catalina Island where we langished in a rented cottage for a week; other years we could be found on a road trip........less relaxed as our three offfspring tended to squabble over which kid was privileged to sit in the middle seat.

As the years went by, Mr. Bob and I found ourselves in more exotic places but always with the necessity of getting back home to resume shopkeeping.

One of my fantasies regarding the move to Windsor, involved my stepping to the counter and telling Sandy or Sue that we were going away and would return in six months. Alas, that dream never materialized, but I have

a wealth of memories from the trips we did take;

In Germany when from our hotel, we walked through fields of grain to get to a small village, landing in their beer garden which looked for all the world like a movie set, so artistically arranged it was.

Learning about the rich, traditional music of the lower Mississippi River on an Elderhostel barge trip.

The train trip where during the night, the partition in our bedroom car vibrated open and suddenly we had not only twice the room, but an unfamiliar roommate who was not the least bit amused.

In one of the northern-most states, marveling at the wheel ruts, still visible, from the Conestoga wagons of long ago.

The early morning ascent of colorful hot air balloons during the festival in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Mr. Bob saying, upon our return from a three week motorhome trip to Maine and back again, “I’m not going anywhere with that kid until his voice changes”.( referring to Tim, the nice man who visits me several times a week). Fifteen years later our family was together on a hellish vacation in Hawaii and Mr. Bob came to me and whispered, “His voice hasn’t changed yet.”

And now, from a few of our residents:

I’ve traveled all over the world and all of the trips have been super except for the time the airline lost my luggage.

                          Jeanne Naumann

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It took three attempts before I fulfilled my desire to visit Egypt. The first two times my plans were cancelled because people were shooting each other in that country.

                             Simone

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A vacation was about the last thing in my mind a few months ago. With great friends, food and fellowship right here at Windsor, why would a person  vacate?

One evening a deep voice on my answering machine greeted me with: “Hello, Shirley, this is Will Adams from Liberty, MO after 65 years!” Will and I had dated a bit when I was a kid in junior high. Bill, a mutual friend, was planning a 65th and final reunion of their class of 1947. Will was going and wanted me to go, too.

A month later Will and I met in the home of Bill and his wife. Will and I had both shrunk; he was down to 6’4”.

All of us at the reunion enjoyed the tasty food; then we gathered around Will at the piano. No one had the music for the school song, so we sang some patriotic numbers. After picture taking, we disbursed to our cars.

During the following 3 days, Will and I revisited the old familiar haunts. We went to the location where our old school had been and then to the new school that replaced it. During his teens Will and his brother had put out a small newspaper with articles that revealed how local children felt about current events during those World War II years. We met with the principal and the librarian of the library. Both were thrilled to receive copies of the old newspapers for their archives.

Will stopped at the house where he had lived and was invited in to meet the residents and share information about former owners. He took a picture of me in front of my childhood home. The church next door had been rebuilt and enlarged. In true Philadelphia style, one breakfast menu included scrapple.

I stopped at the Wayne Hotel where my mother had been in charge of the dining room and kitchen during the ‘40s. It had been remodeled and upgraded to a posh, upscale hotel and is now on the National Registry of Historic Buildings. The community of Wayne had been updated to include restaurants, shops and galleries.

We were up early on the fourth morning and whisked to the airport for our flight to Kansas City. Will made a great traveling companion. His height meant we were directed to a wide, open row of seats.

Will’s home, in Liberty, was built in the 1850s. He gave me a tour, offering me any of the available bedrooms. I chose a single with a pull-down queen bed on the lower level. It was a man’s house........8 TVs, 3 computers, even an elevator!

One day we saw the Truman Library and on another we visited the only museum in the world dedicated entirely to the first World War. The last museum we visited was in a 19th century ship dredged up from many feet of mud as the Missouri River changed course through the centuries.The displays were most interesting.

My somewhat whirlwind vacation, with all of its fun and memories, came to an end as I flew to Minneapolis, then Burbank and returned to the warmth of the Windsor family home.

                                         - Shirley Lawson

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ANNE VAN TRIGT’S CONTRIBUTION

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Hopefully your interest in travel has been stimulated enough to dip into an interesting book on the subject. Among the titles offered by our very own Windsor library:

UNDER THE TUSCAN SUN FRANCES MAYES

BELLA TUSCANY FRANCES MAYES

NOTES FROM A SMALL ISLAND BILL BRYSON

TOUJOURS PROVENCE PETER MAYLE

EAT, PRAY & LOVE ELIZABETH GLIBERT

RIDING THE IRON ROOSTER PAUL THEROUX

PASSAGE TO ARARAT MICHAEL ARLEN

TIME TRAVELER’S WIFE AUDREY

                NIFFENEGGER

TALES OUT OF SCHOOL

I'M NEVER SURE what's okay to tell and what isn't. My purpose isn't to betray confidences and I try not to include anything that would embarrass the subject. Once in a while, I look out over one of our public rooms and am overwhelmed by a feeling of love.......a fierce love for those of us in our collective family here at the Manor........yes, even the ones with whom I don't resonate. The loveable, the unloveable, the complainers, the beams of sunshine. Human nature shows all around, perhaps the more so in the elderly.

Midge has a piano in her room and hopes that no one hears her practice.

Dot, at the left, is from the East Coast originally. She's as avant-garde as anyone here.
Helen and her Baptist minister husband, Rudy; Helen had a stroke back in the 80s and is one of the most cheerful people at the Manor.

Darling Glenys who claims to feel physically awful 100% of the time but always has a smile and a caring for others.

MaryMil, our newest resident, is a delight and is thrilled with the food served here. 

Ernestine, to the left, is the Residents' secretary and Evelyn is the organizer of the group of wise women known as "The Crones". Ernestine is a Crone, too.

Lola is about as big as a minute. She loves opera on the radio and once when told by a male resident to turn the volume down told him, "No and you can just get used to it."

Helen, to the right, is scheduled for cataract surgery a week from today. 

All of these pictures were taken last night at our monthly birthday dinner. Here Diana, Sona and Verjik sing in celebration.

Lucky us! It was gooooooood!

MANOR PEEPHOLES

LITTLE GLIMPSES of goings-on at the Manor:

• On Fridays when we gather on the patio for wine and cheese before supper, Jack Frost gets out his harmonica and plays from his very large repertoire of songs. Camp songs, Americana, cowboy tunes, he knows them all.

Couldn't resist a shot through my wine glass.

•  This sign in the laundry room reminds me of the saying, "Can you read my lips?" or "What part of 'No' don't you understand?" I can feel the frustration in the attempt to communicate to the residents that they must store the iron upright.

• Somehow I thought they might pull the ad in the paper after Mr. Bob lost his hair and I got all puppydog sad looking, but the ad still runs once a month in three newspapers and friends keep discovering it for the first time.

• One of the things I most looked forward to doing at the Manor was working the ever-present jigsaw puzzle. Turned out it was not to be (a story unto itself, which I may or may not decide to tell you someday). We could work on one in our room if I'd just get my act together. It's the one place in life that I can create order out of chaos.

• I observed this one day last week. One of the nurse's aides was performing a spontaneous hula dance during the day's entertainment and one of the residents attempted to swat her on the backside.......out of what, I'm not sure......playfulness? irk? As it happened, she didn't connect, but I love the expression.

• Mr. Bob is on new medication.....something that helps his mood to be more mellow and coincidentally it helps one sleep at night. Well, it results in Mr. Bob sleeping on through the day. Here he's getting dressed, stopping for a nap before he gets his shirt on. True, it's hard to get angry while sleeping so I suppose one could say the medicine is working.

• The picture below was taken when Owen last visited. He was as delighted as I upon seeing for the first time that our elevators are fitted with a bench for resting between floors.

• At dinner, I turned to talk to Lorraine (facing) and Jeanne, both relatively new residents. Nice ladies, both. In fact, when Lorraine heard of Mr. Bob's diagnosis, she put her arms around me and offered to do our laundry, which was such a dear gesture, even though I didn't take her up on it.

• Two weeks ago we encountered Lorraine outside of her room. She was barely recognizable following a fall. I've never seen anyone so battered and bruised, bless her heart. I have to admit that I didn't offer to do her laundry, but we did take her our DVD player and some movies to help pass the time. We've not seen her since, but word has it that she's healing.

MANOR PEEKS

WHILE I'M WAITING TO LAUGH, here are a few looks at what goes on inside the Manor:

The black books on the top shelf to the left are a complete series of Agatha Christie's books. We caught one of the residents standing on a chair to reach one, so for a while we relocated them to a lower shelf. In hopes that she's finished the series, they've recently been replaced. The machine in front of the window enlarges, so that residents with visual problems can see to read.

Once in a while a week features "Taco Tuesday" which causes me to be almost deliriously happy. Will stands ready to take orders for either beef or chicken (one of each for me, please), adds lettuce, tomatoes, onions and cheese. Sour cream and guacamole are served on the side.

When I remember, we take our own hot sauce to the dining room with us. It adds to the experience. Now if we could just figure out how to import margaritas, Taco Tuesdays would be perfect.

When this was taken, the entertainment must have been either serious or at least solumn. 

I was on the lower level one day and peeked into the maintenance room and stole this shot of John hard at work. He's on a team of maintenance men who keep us up and running.

Isabel is a relatively new resident, astounding in her abilities at the age of 103. She's spry, is a splendid conversationalist, can read small print, seemingly has no hearing loss, enjoys a remarkable appetite and does her own laundry. Her daughter came from Canada to help her relocate.

It's unusual to see the men sit down together for a cup of coffee and a chat in the Tea Room, but this is proof that it can happen.

MUSIC IN THE AIR

PRETTY, ISN'T IT? When the beveled glass front doors of the Manor open, it's interesting to note who flows in. Sometimes delivery persons bringing flowers cross the threshold; often it's residents back from outings; visitors, eagerly awaited or people to entertain us.

Yesterday several members of the Verdugo Hills Women's Chorus appeared, scheduled to begin singing at two o'clock.

There's something about the blend of voices in a choir that calls forth emotion. Myself, I
can't carry a tune in a basket, but I used to wish, when our kids were in school, that one of the three would be inspired to join a singing group, but it was not to be.

Every selection that the group sang was beautiful. The one that was most familiar was a medley of songs from Disney's films. I peeked over at Nadine whose husband's longtime career was with Disney and she had a wonderfully happy expression on her lovely face. It reminded me of the time we spent ten whole days at Disney World and Epcot Center. Upon returning home, my smile muscles ached from over-use for a long time..... proving that perhaps those really are the happiest places on earth.


The lady here with white hair was a frequent bookshop customer and when we first moved to the Manor, her husband was in the Health Center during his final illness. I wonder if it was difficult for her to return here, if the memories came flooding back? She gave no sign of it.

The soloists were introduced and one of them read the poem she'd written after the ceremony in which she gained her U.S. citizenship. Then the chorus sang a patriotic song. I treasure those little extra things that take place unexpectedly.

Part of my enjoyment when we go downstairs to listen to entertainment is in observing the reaction of the audience. The pictures I take of residents are important to put in the photo album. It's human nature for people to look for themselves. We try not to disappoint.

HATS

MY CRAFTING DAYS are a thing of the past, so I was at home when the telephone rang, requesting that Mr. Bob come down to take pictures of the hats residents had made in an afternoon activity. On Tuesdays he goes to the Men's Group, so the caller suggested that I be the one with the camera. Later, the receptionist on duty expressed contrition at the idea of our being "on call", as it were, but I felt it had been helpful since our job is to create a picture album of the year's activities.

When I arrived, armed with my trusty little Canon PowerShot, the ladies were putting the finishing touches on their chapeaux, and I was just in time to capture their creations on what we used to call film.   

I, myself, love the idea of wearing hats and I've bought my fair share of them, but when I put them on, I look silly, so off they come.

This little lady is
about as big as a minute. She's the one who professes to being sometimes lonely, so I'm sure she enjoyed the crafting session. On Friday there'll be a
tea in honor of Mother's Day, so the ladies will don their bonnets for that.

“If a woman rebels against high-heeled shoes, she should take care to do it in a very smart hat.”
                                    ~ George Bernard Shaw

                          

TWO'S BETTER THAN ONE

MUCH AS I ENJOY solitude, there's something to be said for socialization.

Many's the day in my old life when I felt less fit than a fiddle and if I got myself out into the world, interacting with others, the veil of lackluster would lift.

I know for a fact that as one ages, the level of social activity is likely to lessen. In a book, "The Girls With Grandmother Faces", I recall reading that each morning we make the decision to be a statue or a bird. Too many statue days in a row and we're in trouble.









Here at the Manor, we can stay in our rooms or venture forth, most often at mealtimes to interact with other folks. Most of the people here have a positive attitude. With the others, it's a good exercise to see if we can bring a smile to the face or at best, cause a chuckle. We're far from being 100% successful, but it's a challenge worth considering.









We remember the normally gloomy lady who was so looking forward to taking a week-long cruise with her daughter.  It was the most light-hearted we'd ever seen her. Upon her return I greeted her with my enthusiastic query, "How was it???" Said she, "They shrunk my white sweater." Actually, her experience had been quite wonderful, but she chose a negative to sum up her vacation. Frankly, I was delighted. It fit the woman I'd come to know.










I'm a people watcher and observing even a gracious display of manners such as this, is heartwarming. So many of the residents have lost their long-time partners; she, her husband, he, his wife. I've noticed no tendencies toward romance among the residents, although when our daughter worked in a retirement community she told me of the battle of the women when a new man moved in.









102 year old Adelaide teaches; Marina, a nurse in the Health Center learns. Age makes no difference. It's the coming together than counts.

There's much to talk about and a wealth of stories to recount and hear. At one time I started a journal of subjects of conversation at the dinner table. I wish I had continued it for the subject range is enormous. Introducing the subject of any prizes won over the years or Halloween costumes worn or favorite movies guarantees plenty of exchange while waiting to be served.







Even the chit-chat that occurs when having a chance blood pressure reading when encountering the nurse in the hall on her way to tend to another resident is an positive experience. One feels a tad better afterward, as each goes on his way.

Yes, a certain amount of gossip goes on......it's good for our circulation, I'm convinced.  How I love what Alice Roosevelt Longworth said, "If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me." I've heard virtually no malicious talk. It's an astonishingly polite group with whom we live.





We have interns at the Manor from a nearby college, studying to get their degrees in Social Work and they take the time to visit with residents. The interchange between young and old is valuable to both. Roberto was from Egypt and he had plans to return to his country for an extended visit. I thought long and hard about him during the recent uprising.


Jane and Mary take such good care of each other. Often they can be seen searching for Jane's walker. Most often it can be found in her room. They are absolute darlings, always being sure to sit in the front row when it's time for entertainment programs to begin. They promptly succumb to the Land of Nod, but wake up in time to applaud.

"Interdependence is and ought to be as much the ideal of man as self-sufficiency. Man is a social being."
                                                                                      ~ Mohandas Gandhi