Even as a 3 year old, I had no aspirations to be a nurse when I grew up. I came close to convincing my last family doctor that I was a Christian Scientist, and he pretty well gave me my head about what tests I wanted to have (zero. nada, no way)
Now I'm paying for it.
 |
| That's our hospital. Yesterday I went to the medical building in front (can't be seen in this photo which was taken from the medical building in back) |
I'd decided not to go into the details of yesterday's appointment and then I read the latest comments on yesterday's blog. Joanne's uttered appreciation for the medical reports came close to changing my mind and then I read that even worldly-wise Ted in Minnesota had his fingers crossed and I couldn't just leave him that way......it might interfere with his taking the daily picture of Lake George, so here I be with an update.
When I say my prayers, what I ask for is courage. And I came through the hour yesterday with the equivalent of a stiff upper lip. The growth is large......nearly the size of a tennis ball......the next step is to see if it's metastasized (I couldn't manage that one without the dictionary). I need to go to a hospital in Pasadena to have an MRI of the breast (excuse me, gentlemen, but modesty is at a minimum here). "Will I have to go into a tube?" I asked, for I think claustrophobia may be present in my latter years. "No, you'll lie on your stomach wearing something much like what Madonna wore", was the answer. I can hardly wait.
And a chest x-ray. And blood work. And surgery. And then a recommendation of how to go forward......radiation, chemotherapy or a combination of the two. And then the drum roll as I make my decision.
One thing he stressed was not to ignore it and then three months down the road changing my mind when the condition starts to get ugly.
When I had my clothes back on and buttoned, Tim was called in and it was all explained again. Even the second time around, it was more than the mind could absorb.
Once out of the medical building, we eased ourselves into the van and Tim drove us to a restaurant where we gorged ourselves on BLT pasta and key lime pie.
Should this medical saga be continued?
"My mother didn't really cook. But she did
make key lime pie, until the day the top of
the evaporated milk container accidentally
ended up in the pie and she decided cooking
took too much concentration." William Norwich
Oh Jane. I am sorry for this news. I was praying this would not be true. Be brave, my friend, and please continue to keep us all informed.
ReplyDeleteCarol
Dearest Jane,
ReplyDeleteTelling some of us is better than bearing it alone. It's your life you are chronicaling and this is a part of it. We love you.
#409
Yes. keep us informed. Talking about it is good. LaVona
ReplyDeleteAKA A Non Y Mouse
I am proud of your bravery, both in dealing with this, and telling your story. By doing so you have helped others. Be strong, and know that others are here to support you in whatever decisions you make.
ReplyDeleteJane,
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about your question (between prayers for your and Bob's health) and this is what I think. Me, I'd like for you to continue writing IF that's what you want to do. There are so many of us out here who consider ourselves part of your extended family, and we want to be with you. But it's hard to explain to each person separately, and so tiring to do it again and again -- it takes your energy. So this is a way of letting us know, keeping us in the loop, hopefully without draining your energy resources.
On the other hand, you may wish, creative person that you are, to leave writing behind and take up an entirely new performance art style, perhaps Interpretive Art Dancing while Decorating Cakes.
Either way -- and I am looking forward to that performance -- I send my fondest affections and energies to you.
Lynne
Susan H writes: I too am proud of your courage. Especailly when having the last several months to experience the ugly parts of cancer with Dad. What parts of cancer are not ugly? I am glad you decided to push through and go have it investigated, you were on the fence for a day or two. It made me mushy inside when you told me this morning that when getting up in the middle of the night and had such difficulty with swinging your legs over the side of the bed, Dad got out of bed and came over to help you......I am here for you both, give the word and I will be there as fast as Alaska Airlines will fly me. I love you both!
ReplyDeleteDear Jane I keep hoping things are going well with Bob and now oh dear it is you.
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you what help you have been to me over difficult times with your marvellous writings and quotes, especially over the last few weeks.
my good wishes to you both and yes please keep writing.
oh this growing old business.
Jane, I'm so sorry to hear your news, and I am amazed at your courage - in dealing with your doctors and in the telling of your life story. Please do keep us all informed as to the progress of you both, we all care and are wishing we could do more to help than just offer long distance support.
ReplyDeleteWith love
Suzan.
Dear Jane--Yes, by all means continue with the medical updates on both you and Bob. Don't know if you realize it or not, but many people are praying for both of you to fully recover from these set-backs. On the bright side, just think how much weight you will lose when that tumor is finally removed! The days ahead will not be easy, but know you are both loved, and we are anxiously awaiting better news ahead. Joy
ReplyDeleteDear Jane, You are such a remarkable woman experiencing such heart wrenching times. I've followed your journey and care so much and hope so much for you and Mr. Bob to get past these awful difficulties. You are in my thoughts.
ReplyDelete_Robin
HI JANE,
ReplyDeleteWOW, SHOCKING NEWS! WE ARE SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR MEDICAL PROBLEM WITH BIG DECISIONS TO BE MADE. WE WISH YOU THE BEST POSSIBLE RESULTS NO MATTER WHAT YOU DECIDE. OUR THOUGHTS ARE ALWAYS WITH YOU AND BOB. GETTING OLD IS H_ _ _, NOT KNOWING WHAT IS AROUND THE CORNER FOR EACH OF US. IF THERE IS ANYTHING WE CAN DO, YOU KNOW WE ARE CLOSE AND WILL BE AVAILABLE TO HELP. YES, PLEASE KEEP YOUR MANY FRIENDS INFORMED AS MUCH AS YOU ARE ABLE - WITH WHATEVER YOU WANT TO SHARE.
Lois & Dick
Jane, I am so sorry to hear your news. If, as they say, a positive attitude and a sense of humor are beneficial in this situation, you're off to a strong start. We're sending good thoughts to both you and Bob. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteBarbara Richmond
I am so sad....but i know your courage and humor and willingness to speak the truth will make it a bit.. a bit easier. All of those posting before have said it..you r never alone. and your daughter....geez...like your son..they will be there in an instant. We here online...r there too!! You need a cheery face and someone to talk too...post it and I will come on down! My prayers continue!!!!
ReplyDeleteDear Jane,
ReplyDeleteLet me start by saying I'm more than a bit shy when it comes to posting in open forums like this. I couldn't seem to get in touch with you or Susan via cell phone, text, or Facebook the last time she was down, though, so here goes...
I want you, and your entire family to know I care deeply about each and every one of you, and am pulling and cheering for you all to make it through these difficult times with as much comfort and ease as is possible given the circumstances.
I truly look forward to reading your posts each day, Jane. They're always full of your delight with the world around us, your good-natured humor, and of course, the honesty for which you're so well-known. That being said, I'll add my voice to those who advise you to do whatever is most comfortable for YOU, at any given time.
Please know I'm just minutes away, and would be thrilled to help in any way I can, so call me! (I'm still in the book.)
Much love and my very best thoughts are with you, Mr. Bob, the kids and grandkids,
Laurie McFarlane
Please do. Everyone who follows this blog does so because we care about both of you. Plus, I think, for you, writing is not only therapeutic, but a way to connect. xo
ReplyDeleteDearest Jane,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your sad news with all of us. You + Bob are in my prayers but now I know what to ask God to heal for you! I would be so happy to drive you to Pasadena or to where ever you need to go. Just give me a call.
Yes Jane you are being quite brave. It is all for the greater good!
Love, Nancy Coler
Isn't it great to realize your prayers for courage do get answered in the positive!! Continued prayers for courage will sustain you as you take each step going forward with what you need to do. It's good to have your family supporting you and hearing the facts you need to deal with. It's hard to absorb all the information -- the temptation comes up to go into denial as a coping mechanism -- one we already know too well how to use! Sending love -- Evelyn
ReplyDeletei thank you for sharing. perhaps it would be less pressure or stress on you to share what you feel like sharing as it occurs. sometimes i think blogging can turn into a burden. i think i'm speaking for all who "know" you and "love" you and Bob in our digital way, we don't want to become an obligation.
ReplyDeleteif our bearing witness and holding you both up on chairs built of courage and love is what you need that day, come here and you'll find us.
it's your journey. thank you for connecting us all.
denise in c'ville, va