Sunday, August 5, 2012


In sorting through the stacks of cards that have arrived over the past six months........get well cards, birthday cards, thinking-of-you cards and messages of condolence, there was a letter from Lisa (pictured above) that I thought summed up Mr. Bob's memorial service better than anything I could write and I'd like to share it with you here.


Dear Jane,

Words are not easy to find.

I didn't want to write until after Bob's memorial. I was sure I would learn a great deal from the Humphrey approach to a major Life event......always with inspiration, imagination, creativity and heart. I knew I would be touched. I knew I would find many valuable lessons. I did not know it would transcend any memorial I've ever attended. It was absolutely perfect from the warm greetings, to the beautiful photographs, to the heartfelt words, to the cloud of pure love emanating from the room. Your family was absolutely beautiful, each and every one. They did their father and their grandfather and their mother proud.

Tim's solo, joined by the jazz band was one of the most beautiful sounds I've ever heard. It expressed what could never be said with words. And, to end with "When the Saints Go Marching In" and the proud parade of the jazz umbrella.......was to know, without doubt, that a saint went marching in.

I found myself celebrating how loudly Bob a very quiet way. I learned so much in his presence. People who live out loud never seem to have the same powerful effect of men like Bob who have no need to brag and boast. Actions define them. I was enheartened by those observations. I watched a real man love his life, his family, his wife, and his friends while saying very few words.

One of my indelible memories will always be the example you both set as husband and wife. It is unparalleled and will always guide me.......perfect in any imperfections, sweeter than any relationship I have ever observed. I have watched you and Bob live it consistently. You were incredible teachers.

The other words that will linger was the compliment that will always define you and Bob........that you changed the Manor. Your presence, your energy, your creativity, your warmth, your service ....gave it new heart, new soul. How beautifully the words were shared and how much it compliments you and Bob. That is a legacy!  That is something to strive for.......and you accomplished that by the sincere act of being yourselves!

Again, I am enheartened.
                                                                All my love,
Tim spoke of the music that his dad had appreciated.

Tim had taken a few clarinet lessons ten years ago, soon giving it up.
His playing at the memorial came as a complete surprise.

The Golden Eagle Jazz Band marched in after Tim played the opening bars.

Mr. Bob would have loved the music, but he'd never in the world have believed his memorial would draw such a crowd.

My words were few. I said that I had indeed married well and that Mr. Bob would be sorely missed.
Owen and his cousin, Ethan, were models of decorum
during the memorial.

Jeanine had spoken earlier of Mr. Bob winning the
jazz umbrella. He made a gift of it to her and we
were surprised that she brought it to the event and
marched to "When the Saints Go Marching In".

The Manor kitchen prepared a feast of delectable food.

Mr. Bob loved mariachi music, and so did the guests.

Here is Susan and her beautiful daughter and two sons. It was a blessing we
could all be together.

Memorial: A farewell party for someone who already left.z


  1. That woman should get a Pulitzer prize for eloquence. That was just a marvelous, tender tribute. Yes, it was an event elevated above all others. The jazz music and the Mariachis just made it impossible to feel sad yet of courts we were. You held up for the whole thing. Keep the wonderful memories handy if another trial comes along.

    Carry on, scribe!

  2. Oh, what a beautiful letter and I'd agree with her about you both. I was touched reading through her note, and seeing the photos. I was surprised to realize Susan had a daughter as well as 2 sons--how did I miss that! Lovely family. All around...very touching, Jane!

    I'd say you both married very well...

  3. Bon soir, Humphreys everywhere and all their relations.
    It's a measure of the man (and the beautiful words) that I'm teary-eyed again. What ho, Mr. live on!

  4. Bob will be in my minds eye forever and ever. The love he had for you was evident from when i first met you in your home 4 years or so ago. To think you two shared a double i thought, who does that! I will also never forget that blown up picture of you two that last resided in your Manor bedroom. Love could be felt in that photo and could be felt till the last time i saw you at a table for 12. I will honor the time forever!

  5. Jane,
    Momason, Janet Jaeckel, spoke so highly of this memorial. She was honored to be there and would defiantly agree with the elegant words of Lisa.
    My heart goes out to you.
    All my love,