Saturday, July 16, 2011


EVERYONE WANTS TO BE OF HELP which is extraordinarily heartwarming. And of course there's little that anyone can actually do in our present situation. One lovely lady, when she heard of Bob's illness, whispered in my ear that she'd gladly do laundry for me.......I'd never in the world take her up on it, but what a precious tangible offer. Another wrote me a note telling me of her availability anytime I'd like to just sit and talk over a glass of wine. I may yet take advantage of her suggestion, when things settle down a little.

The other day I stopped at Ralph's on a hot day and the purchase of celery hearts, green onions and some tomatoes nearly did me in by the time I got home and put them into the refrigerator, but it made it possible to fix Mr. Bob one of his favorite tuna sandwiches. Along with lunch I swallowed my pride and asked Tim for a couple of hours over the weekend so that I could do a larger marketing. He does a superb job of helping and I'm grateful that one of our three offspring stayed close by. But I don't like putting all the burden of having old parents on him. He not only maintains his good nature, but also makes me chuckle.

I realized recently that what I'm yearning for just now is laughter. We're doing a fair job of maintaining positivity, but there's a streak of grimness in it.........perhaps that's the wrong word.......a staunch resolute that doesn't allow for much in the way of humor and I miss that streak of comedy terribly. I want to guffaw in an unladylike manner.....throw back my head and laugh.......what I wouldn't give for one side-clutching moment, the kind where I'm unable to stop for breath.

I can't seem to get beyond poignancy just now. There's no getting around it. Our world, as we knew it, has changed. The hiss of the oxygen tank and the bubbling sound of the concentrator are constant reminders that things are different now and while I'm grateful for the blessing of each new day, I need to find something amusing enough to bring a titter. (That thought almost made me smile, the old line of "a titter ran through the crowd" which brings to mind a lascivious old man who can't keep his hands to himself.) See? That must prove what the guy said about the possibility of my being the Smut Director here at the Manor. (For clarification, see the entry "Comic Relief" posted on June 18.)


  1. That you are able to maintain your humor and even a little bit of energy on this roller coaster ride is a testament to both of you. I had to giggle that Mr. Bob saw fit to snap the foto of you nodding off. What a joy that you share this difficult time with such signs of your usual comedic partnership. T.O. Joanne

  2. I agree with Joanne. When my sister was going through chemo last year, she said she wanted to be able to enjoy things and laugh as well. Maybe you can rent some funny movies to watch? Something like "Tootsie," or a Woody Allen classic, or the insane "Galaxy Quest," or something like that? Just to get your mind off of things and have a good belly laugh. Your kids sound really good. Tim is great to help you out. I was the one in my family who had my parents close by for years, and honestly, I have said over and over to my siblings that even though there were sometimes stressful/hard times trying to juggle helping them out, but I honestly feel like I was the most fortunate of all my sibs that I was able to have had that time with my folks... We were very close. I imagine Tim feels that way as well. You have great kids, and they obviously love you two very much. xo

  3. ps
    That was perhaps the worst grammatically constructed comment ever! Sorry!

  4. Jane, you would never be Director of Debauchery or i.SmutDirector, but a good, hearty belly laugh is just what the doctor ordered. Ask Norman Cousins! Laughter is a great healing tool!

    I'd love to hear suggestions from your readers about what makes them laugh...movies, comedy routines, etc.... and suggest we all partake in some serious Laughter Therapy.

    Another brilliant subject, Jane. I am very appreciative that you brought this up! Thank you!

  5. OK. Here's my choice.
    Jane & Bob make me laugh. From the very first moment we met them in Felipe's, we started to laugh at their unique double act and a smile is never far from my eyes whenever they come to mind.
    I know that the time that Val spent with them was one of the happiest of her life.

  6. They have a thing called laughter yoga just takes one person.....laugh...and laugh and laugh...then a friend begins to laugh and laugh and laugh...and then another. We did this on a boat back from Catalina in May and we did not stop laughing for 5 minutes....It may start out fake, but when you laugh and throw your head back in joy.....others will join in...laughter is contagious!

  7. Susan H writes: I have heard about the healing results of a laughter group. A group of people gather and just laugh and laugh and laugh. One of our hospitals in Anchorage has a weekly laughter group. Talk with your activity director! I remember when JimNelson was going through chemo and I offered to help but wasn't sure just what I could do, I don't make casseroles so I offered to mow lawns so that Jill could be with Jim. I think it would be okay if you let your friend do some laundry, although knowing you, you would hand wash it first. love you both