YESTERDAY was Mr. Bob's weekly appointment with the oncologist and I was granted permission to accompany him which caused me to stop weeping and carrying on. I don't know why it was so hard to be separated other than the fact that for all these years we've been a team in nearly everything we've done. When our babies were born, Mr. Bob was on the premises; in those days, Daddies were banished from the Labor Room, but there was comfort in the knowledge that he was somewhere near. I accompanied him to every one of his radiation treatments when prostate cancer required it. I go in to nearly all of his doctors' appointments just because a second pair of ears is a good idea at this stage in our lives. Therefore I was devastated at the idea of sending him off with someone else to undergo hours of chemotherapy while I was left behind. I don't think he was the least bit distraught with the state of affairs, so it's anybody's guess why I was so upset. And I'm not proud of my reaction.
So............yesterday, I could see with my own eyes that the doctor was delighted when he tested Mr. Bob's oxygen level which was excellent, indicating possibly that there was more room in his lungs which might mean shrinkage of the tumor. We left with instructions to use oxygen only when needed.
Communication between our rooms and his room in the Skilled Nursing is difficult. Something about the first floor of the Manor impedes any possibility of telephoning each other on our cell phones. We've taken to texting one another which is a laborious task for someone not used to a keyboard, so half of our messages are short. Today the patient took it into his head to come visit our apartment which is quite a jaunt. He appeared at our door with his walker.
He kept saying how good it was to be home and we not only enjoyed lunch together (I fixed bacon/tomato sandwiches, something I do rather well) but he stayed for dinner which consisted of Sonoma Chicken Salad from Costco and half a nectarine. He spent a lot of time reading some of my old blog entries from 4 years ago. In 2007, a friend whose computer was so old that she couldn't open the blog, used to imagine what the articles might be about based on the titles which were all she could access, so I printed out several of the pieces for her. I asked that they be returned when she was through reading and I saved them.
Printing a few hard copies happened before my blog went belly up in a sea of corruption. It seems that "corrupt" is a technical term for when things go unexplainably and terribly wrong on the computer. I've not made a practice of printing out what I write nor have I been diligent about backing up files, so these few entries are all I have of what is probably 6 years of writing daily pieces.
Mr. Bob started reading with the intention of taking the time to read just a few, but found he couldn't stop and then my own interest was piqued and I reread them and starting tomorrow in addition to a medical progress report on Mr. Bob's condition, I'm going to republish one of the old entries. I hope you won't lose interest.
He was here for 6 hours and it was wonderful. We're going to do everything in our power to recreate the romance and emotional closeness we experienced all those years ago. No more locking of horns or squabbling, activities at which we had become proficient.
We all know about the wisdom of fully enjoying the precious present.....the here and now....... it's time to relearn the appreciation of each other, while there's still time.