Sunday, June 26, 2011


Tuesday, June 26, 2007

"Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle."
                                                                   ~ Amy Bloom
We were so young in June of 1953. Mr. Bob was the older and probably wiser; I was barely 19, both of us very naive and inexperienced, with no idea whatsoever about the road we were setting out upon. We were married in a small ceremony at the Glendale Church of Religious Science. No fanfare, no fuss. My wedding outfit was a blue raw silk suit.......a simple reception was held for family at my parents' home before we set off for a Las Vegas honeymoon. I recall standing in the hot Nevada sun the next morning while Master Bob went to fetch the car wondering what in the world I had done. 54 years later, he's still acting the part of my valet and I'm so grateful that I did what I did. I married well, that's what.

"Chains do not hold a marriage together It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years."
                                                                    ~Simone Signoret

He likes coffee. I prefer tea. He loves to drive. I don't. Now that we're both retired, we squabble more than we ever did during the busy years of working and raising children. That bothers two of our friends and a couple of our offspring. There have been many nights that we've gone to bed mad, in spite of sound advice to the contrary.

"My husband and I have never considered divorce........murder, sometimes, but never divorce."
                                       ~Joyce Brothers

I have observed that in our latter years, we seem joined at the hip and that as my hips get wider, we're growing apart. Mr. Bob's rejoinder was, "I don't want a hip replacement." We sleep in a narrow double bed with less individual room than a baby has in a crib. When we do go to bed in a state of irk, it's a challenge to sleep without touching one another, but it's possible.

"When asked his secret of love, beting married fifty-four years to the same person, he said, 'Ruth and I are happily incompatible'".
                                                   ~Billy Graham

He earned a living as a printer for 42 years. I supplied some of the frosting on the cake by my career as a bookseller. He was my not-always-silent partner in my business endeavors. He spends a lot of time trying to convince me that he's not smart and then proves himself wrong by letting his wit peep through. I'm still trying to persuade him that I have good taste and wouldn't have married anyone stupid.

"Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly."
                                                    ~Rose Franken

I definitely got the better of the deal on June 26, 1953. And I apologize regularly to him for the areas in which I know my performance falls short. He deserves better, but the darling doesn't seem to realize it. Thank goodness for that.

"Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades. But to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat."
                                     ~Joanne Woodward

My advice to newly married couples is to be sure to remember that some years are better than others. Along with experiencing a few potholes in that road, we've had a good time together. Tonight we're going to a restaurant high on the side of the foothills overlooking the sprawling metropolis in which we've chosen to live. And we'll watch the lights come on as the darkness gathers and we'll get ready to weather and/or take pleasure in whatever life holds next for us. Happy anniversary, dear heart.

"Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be  -- the last of life for which the first was made."
                                                       ~Robert Browning

Oh, my, four years later finds us in such a different place. As mortality comes more clearly into view and we realize how precious little time is left, we've come into a new appreciation of not only each other, but also the third entity which is our union, our us-ness, a made-up word I used in the poem in "Teardrops" the other day.

We met on a north-bound train and in the ensuing years traveled by planes, ships and rails.......our three children brought us joy and grew us up in the process of raising them. Today, they're people we're honored to know. We had fulfilling careers. Our lives have provided us with much laughter and an equal amount of irks.

Being apart this past month has brought us a renewed commitment to making our lives together the best they can possibly be. From his room in the Skilled Nursing center, Mr. Bob just texted me these words:
"This is the first day of the rest of new life for us." 
To which I add the word, "Amen"

"Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze"
                                                         ~Elinor Glyn


  1. Happy Anniversary.
    Val & I hit 47 years tomorrow and 'most of the time' wouldn't have it any other way.
    The Dorsettler

  2. This is a beautiful tribute! Happy anniversary, and congratulations to you both on making an excellent choice.


  3. You make my heart feel good...Happy Anniversary to you both.
    Love, Timi

  4. Beautiful! A union made in haste but my oh better way to have been made. you knew do it!Love the story from the Manor's best residents!

  5. Your joy in being a "we" touches my heart and reminds me to live each day as a gift. WLT and I celebrated our 25th this year and we never fail to kiss before we go to bed even if we are not happy and it's a thin lipped kiss, T.O.Joanne

  6. Susan H writes: How beautiful your description of your years together. Your words warm my heart and bring tears to my eyes. 58 eight years now that is something most people will never experience. In my circle I am the only one with parents still married. I am proud, proud, pround. Thank you Mom and Dad! Happy Anniversary!

  7. Susan H writes: I will....complete one post without a misspelled word. Just not today

  8. Very beautiful.

    Then why did I laugh? Well...where is the State of IRK, anyway?
    I've ben through there numerous times so I should know!

    I envy you your us-ness. I don't know if you realize it, but that is the secret. I know it now, but too late. Not all couples have it. The still married ones do. #409

  9. Happy anniversary, and thanks for continuing to set a good example to follow.

  10. What a lovely way to write about your life together and your anniversary, Jane. A very Happy one to you both.

    With much love,

  11. Auntie J, you are such a beautiful person. Happy Anniversary to you and Uncle B. I love you both. Denise

  12. Yours is an inspirational love story. Happy Anniversary to my dear friends on their 58th....the same number of years I've been alive! :) Good to see your romance is still alive and well!

  13. Beautiful, Aunt Jane. You have defined the life-long challenge of being both "me" and "us" that successful marriages require. Happy anniversary to a perfect match. XOXO

  14. Happy anniversary! Loved your post today as always! Makes my 26th years seem puny! Love, Shelley

  15. I am not able to add this to your blog, so :

    "You both got the "best part of the deal".

    Love from Lynne

  16. Lovely walk down memory lane here, Jane. You two certainly are soul mates...

  17. Happy Anniversary you Love Birds!

  18. Jane;
    Please inform us when or if there will be a service of some kind for Bob. Lois and I will try to be there. I will never forget the years of poker games we played at Jim Holler's and elsewhere. Thanks for all of the photo memories of this kind and caring man. Our e-mail is

    Bob Johnson and Lois too