Friday, January 21, 2011


Rarely do I forward emails. I was all ready to write to you about poinsettias. It's late in the day and it's been a busy one which is why I'm so late getting this out into the ether (I trust that's where it goes). But when I found the following in my mailbox, all of a sudden poinsettias didn't seem very interesting in comparison, so I changed my plan. I hope you haven't already received this 12 times and that you find some of it amusing. 

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Ladies.....Quit Laughing.
Heal the past, live the present, dream the future.

Tomorrow: poinsettias


  1. Wow.... found i'm real tired after taking my niece to the airport at 430 am today...then work..then volunteering with cats... I know i need 2 b wake to read this...looks like fun reading! Thanks Jane!

  2. Unfortunately #10 is very true!

  3. If only all email forwards were as worth reading as this collection! On second thought perhaps not, as i'd never get anything done!

  4. As much as I enjoy reading these types of lists and messages--and this was a good one--I always find myself wondering more about the authors. Who are they and where do they find the time to generate amusing philosophical pablum?

  5. Edie in Indiana writes:

    Many of those are just too true!

  6. The Reverend Dr. John in Oregon wrote:

    Yes, I continue to be a FAN and follow your like a Jack Daniel (when I walk).

    Loved, loved the Poinsettia blog (1-21-11) Love you two as well. I have progressed to the point that I can download the blog itself and enjoy it (and the bright new presentation).

  7. Now that i have read them...14 is r so many others!! :-)