Thursday, January 12, 2012


THE TIME HAD COME to meet the doctor yesterday, the one who's in charge of Mr. Bob's radiation program. I have a great fear of medical men. So when I end up responding favorably to a doctor it's a very good sign.

 And Dr. Andrew Suen passed the test.

He was extremely personable, friendly, eager to answer any and all questions (even ones pertaining to my condition). What a relief!

The nurse, Sylvia, was equally attentive and when I enquired about her family, told me that 3 years ago she had been bedridden for 8 solid months with a mystery illness, with her son in the next bedroom with a broken leg and a husband out of work, but she overcame her back problems and one just doesn't know, does one, what other people weather in the way of challenging life situations?

 The day previous I had gone in to meet the doctor but important phone calls prevented him from seeing us. It had been a struggle to get my tired body into the waiting room from my usual place parked at the curb (taking pictures of passersby) and I tried to hide my disappointment at the need to do it all over again the next day. Sylvia was so empathic and solicitous, even holding the door open for us as we left that I went to the car and had a complete meltdown for no apparent reason at all. Out of the blue, I found myself out of control. I tell you this only because it would be wrong to appear that we're sailing through all this in an unflappable manner. We aren't. We have our moments, but it had been a long time since I'd cried without being able to stop. 

I maneuvered us home and then had to sit in the parking lot for an hour trying to get on top of the emotion and to Mr. Bob's credit, he stayed at my side even though I urged him to go ahead to our room.

Yesterday I told Sylvia it might be better not to be nice to me. And I met the doctor and I liked him and everything became rosy again.

Tears are words the heart can't express


  1. Bless you both for caring for each other and for being able to pick yourselves up from the "down" times and get on with the day to day. You are an inspiration to say the least. T>O.Joanne

  2. Dear Jane and husband Bob: I am feeling empatheticly tearful reading your ordeal. Crying is good, it flushes out the eyes and makes them sparkle. Love, Marlene

  3. We had a therapist once (yes, we did) who claimed that when tears come, angels are near. I like that idea.

  4. It happens to me once in a while too and I am not even 50 yet. Empathetic well wishes coming your way from Oslo. The Olso mom.

  5. Crying is so yin/yang. I hate it because it makes me feel so exhausted afterwards, and makes my eyes a puffy, red mess. On the otherhand, it is a fabulous release of stress that has no other way to come out of me. Once I recover from the above mentioned after effects I am much better off, even considering the torment I went through. It is difficult to see that at the time one is going through countless Kleenex however! I had a therapist say once that there is a "block of tears" that one needs to cry out and get rid of for dealing with things. That "block" is still inside of us and can come out of us when we least expect it!

  6. Uncle Bob is looking good!!
    I'm sure you're both going through so many emotions, like a roller-coaster!
    I pray for you both all the time!
    Love Ya'll,

  7. Aunt Janie, as a person who works in healthcare I am saddened to say that there are too many providers who aren't as caring as Dr. Suen and Sylvia. You have something very special in them, use it. Trust me, they truly care and what want to be there for their patients. It makes me so happy to know you have this support, I see what a difference it makes all the time. I am glad to hear you give yourself time to be mad, sad or just plain fed up with cancer. Stay strong, weak, indifferent, ticked off, happy or whatever may strike you. I love you guys.

  8. You have been SO STRONG.....for SO LONG....

    ........maybe it was time...and badly needed.

    You got your sad out !!!

    God Bless you both. Your marriage needs to be documented one day for everyone to see....that everything isn't always perfect and jolly...but in the end...the love, dedication and respect sure shines through. : )

  9. I'm glad to hear you let yourself have a good cry: I admit I look at you two and marvel constantly that you look so great and seem to get through all this so well--it's good to know you are human and letting yourselves be human! I admire you both so much for all you've been through and how you've handled it all with such grace and dignity and humor...

    So glad you like the doctor--that's very important in my book!

  10. Hang in there! You'll get through it!

  11. Interesting that "the kindness of strangers" brought the tears. Funny how that happens. We work so hard, so hard, so hard at being strong and holding everything together, and then some soft word or deed--and the walls come a tumblin' down. XO

  12. Stay strong and find good in each day !
    A Non Y Mouse

  13. Your words " just doesn't know, does one, what other people weather in the way of challenging life situations?" touched my heart.

    Today I had an interview for a job to work as support staff at the local hospital E.R.. I've never worked in a medical environment before, and if I do get the job, I will remember these words.
    I'm so glad I found your blog. I have become a regular reader/lurker. I wish you and your husband all the best.

  14. God is ALWAYS and yes I mean ALWAYS with us.....even sometimes when we feel like we are so alone.

    As hard as it is to see and to understand, there is a reason that we all live and go through what we go through.

    One persons life touches another....yet touches another.

    I can't even begin to imagine the people who are being helped each time they read this blog. I am just so sorry it's been so hard going through it all.

  15. Omg...all the posts steadily have read so wonderfully, I just am thinking what to add as i agree with all of it. I belive my add will be your quote this time. Crying is just what we do. Love and lifelong friendship is all over this post!

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